That Tight, Black, Fitted, CurveHugging Leather
by Kanna37
Summary: Kagome gets tired of depending on only her arrows in a fight - so she asks Sango to train her.  But what reaction does she get from Inuyasha when Sango gifts her with slayer armor when training's done?  Tied 1st Best Humorous Fiction FA June 2011.


**That Tight, Black, Fitted, Curve-Hugging Leather**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

*hama no ya=Sacred Arrows

-oOo-

'I want you to teach me a little hand to hand combat, Sango – enough to defend myself a bit when we get in fights, and maybe how to use a knife for self-defense." Kagome met her best girlfriend's gaze firmly. "Sure, I've got my hama no ya, but..." she trailed off as Sango's surprise turned to an approving smile.

"If you're sure, Kagome...?" At her friend's eager nod, she grinned. "Well, after all the running around in our time, you've got some good stamina built up-" a curious expression chased across her face then, "-though... why didn't you ask Inuyasha?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Because that baka would just laugh at me, and brush me off. I don't want him to know about this... I'll make up some excuse if he gets curious when we take off every evening."

Sango had to laugh at that. "Yeah, he would – but won't he be surprised when he sees what you've learned in some battle? So... how much are you looking to actually learn?"

"Just enough to be able to have something to fall back on in close combat. There's certain times that my arrows just won't work," she said wryly, thinking back to the time when she'd first arrived in this era and been grabbed by the bandits led by the corpse crow. _That_ had been mildly scary.

"Hmm," Sango mumbled, deep in thought. _Self defense techniques, hand to hand, and with a knife. This'll be too easy – she's already picked up a few things from watching all of us. _She looked at Kagome with a conspirational wink. "Wanna start tonight after dinner?"

Kagome grinned. "Sure! This'll be awesome," she said enthusiastically.

Both girls shot sneaky glances behind them to where Inuyasha and Miroku were walking along, tossing insults back and forth with equal facility, while Shippo listened in and commented and laughed at the more candid retorts, then looked back at each other with glee.

_Those boys'll never know what hit them! _they both thought.

-oOo-

It had been a month since she had started teaching Kagome to fight, and she couldn't be more pleased. Despite the fact that Kagome had always seemed so clumsy, that was really not the truth; the girl had had several years of what she called 'gymnastics', and they had taught her a lot of things that integrated right into fighting. While it had apparently been a few years, it didn't take long for it to start coming back to her. She was quickly becoming quite agile, and was able to dodge and weave with the best of them, her body limber and strong.

She'd also taken to the hand to hand basics extremely fast, and Sango was getting ready to step things up – tonight, she was going to start training her with a knife.

She had deliberately gone back to her village two weeks ago to grab three things – an appropriately sized knife to be carried openly when she felt that Kagome had mastered it enough to actually use it successfully, and a smaller one for emergencies that would be concealed... and, as a gift for finishing her training, a taijiya outfit like she herself wore. It would make a great gift – Kagome's mother had recently complained to her about how many of her 'uniforms' she kept managing to destroy in fights, so this would give her something else to wear... and shock the hell out of Inuyasha, as well.

Sango giggled at that thought... Kagome had filled out nicely in recent months, and the taijiya outfit hugged every curve a woman had, which is why Miroku loved it so much. She couldn't wait to see their hanyou companion's face fall off when he saw her in it – and when Miroku saw it, he'd probably make some kind of comment which would inevitably lead to Inuyasha beating him. It _would_ give her _own_ hand a rest...

"Are you ready, Kagome?" she asked, her bathing supplies already ready, a clean yukata thrown over her shoulder. So what if the boys thought they were just going to be bathing – what they didn't know wouldn't – really – hurt them.

"Yup!" Kagome grabbed her yellow bag and slung it over her shoulder, then turned to stare at Miroku and Inuyasha with a truly frightening look on her face as she loomed over them both for several seconds warningly. "And neither of you had better even _think_ of leaving this campsite – are we clear?"

Both males shrank back, nodding uneasily. She narrowed her eyes, then nodded approvingly. "Good! We'll be back when we get back," she said, suddenly cheerful; Inuyasha and Miroku looked suspicious at her abrupt-seeming mood-shift.

The two women left the campsite giggling madly, and Miroku sat back, wiping the sweat from his forehead with relief. "Kagome-sama can be very frightening when she wishes to be, ne, Inuyasha?"

The half-demon spluttered, also relieved, but unwilling to show it. "Keh! I ain't scared of that wench, Miroku, so speak for yourself."

Shippo cast him a jaded look, his head tilted into his hand as he watched the antics of the adults. "Really? Then why are you sweating harder than Miroku?" he asked. Kirara mewed agreeingly.

The hanyou raised a threatening fist at the kit. "Shut up, you stupid runt! It's just hot!"

Miroku and Shippo both rolled their eyes at that as Kirara flicked her tails, but no one said anything.

Sango finally managed to stop giggling at the boys' antics as they neared the clearing the hot spring was in, and sighed, then met Kagome's gaze. "Tonight you're going to start learning to fight with a knife – think you're ready?"

The miko's eyes brightened. "You bet! Can't wait," she said excitedly, dropping her bag, she quickly went through it and found her exercise outfit she'd been wearing to train in; within seconds, she was dressed and ready to go.

"Okay... remember when I told you that when you're fighting, any object, anything you can get your hands on can be used as a weapon?"

Kagome nodded. "Mhm. Sure do."

She pulled a plain-hilted, serviceable knife from its sheath, and handed it to Kagome. "This blade is six inches long – more than long enough to do some major damage if you know how and where to use it." She then took a tiny blade from a hidden pocket in her uniform, and showed Kagome. "See this? This blade is barely an inch – but I could_ kill _an opponent with it. It's all in where you use it."

Kagome looked fascinated. "Really? With something that small? I mean, when I saw it I wanted to laugh and say 'how cute'!"

Sango laughed aloud at that. "A lot of other people think that way, too – and it makes it even more effective, because they don't even try to defend seriously against it."

"Huh," she said thoughtfully. "That makes sense. So... where would you use something that small to kill an enemy?"

Eyes glinting, suddenly serious, she said, "Best place is right across the jugular, or the wrists. You don't have to go all that deep in either place – they are two of the most vulnerable places on a person. Remember that. A knife like that is a messy kill, though, especially in those places, and it takes a little bit for them to bleed out."

Her miko companion looked a little uneasy at that, and Sango knew why – Kagome didn't like the thought of having to kill a person, demon or human – but the important thing here was that she was capable of doing so if she had to. After all, she'd already killed countless demons in battle, and doubtless would kill many, many more.

"Alright, Kagome – the first thing I want you to do with that knife you're holding is get used to the feel of it – familiarize yourself with the weight and its distribution. One of the nice things about that knife, is that it can also be thrown if necessary, and it's extremely strong – much stronger than a regular knife, since it's taijiya forged. It would be very hard to break it."

Looking fascinated, Kagome did as told, moving the knife around in her hands, from hand to hand, and back, and even flipping it around a little – it was very easy to adjust to – it's balance was perfect, and Kagome found that she was really enjoying the lesson, despite the deadly connotations of it.

Before the night's lesson was through, Sango was once more feeling more than pleased – Kagome had taken to the knife well, and it wouldn't be long before she'd be carrying it.

And the boys still had no idea.

-oOo-

The time finally came, two months later, when Sango felt confident enough in her pupil to gift her with the knife permanently – and the taijiya outfit. Just as she'd thought, Kagome had been thrilled – she'd already taken to wearing an outfit like her pink and green kimono during the day, and Inuyasha had simply accepted Kagome's reason for the change – he'd overheard her mother speaking to her about finding something else to wear while in his era. All in all, it worked out perfectly, as she could simply wear the taijiya uniform underneath the kimono just like she herself did – with neither male any the wiser.

Kagome's debut in battle came just days after; the guys got themselves into trouble with a succubus demon and her slaves, and found themselves bound and unable to fight.

The group had actually stopped for the night on a grassy plain, the only thing to break the monotony of it a bunch of stunted trees and bushes lining the banks of a river. The succubus happened to attack the guys after Sango and Kagome took off to the water to bathe, and so didn't know that there were any others out there.

Not being too interested in Shippo, who was just a child, she ignored him, allowing him to slip away and go off to find the girls in a panic. Fortunately, both girls had already finished bathing and were dressed when he got to them.

When Sango and Kagome came careening through the trees, they found the two men already bound tightly by the succubus' magic, and the camp turned into an instant stand off as Sango and Kagome exchanged determined looks.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kagome? Get the hell away from he-" Inuyasha started to yell.

With matching grins, the girls dropped their kimono, and Inuyasha's voice cut off mid-shout as the cloth fluttered to the ground and both his and Miroku's eyes practically fell out of their heads.

Kagome glanced at Sango. "The succubus has a shard," she whispered to her. "I'll have to take her on."

Sango looked surprised. "Do you think you can handle her?" she whispered back with concern.

With a nod, Kagome eyed the four slaves. "Yeah... I don't think she'll be much of a fighter – that's what those slaves of hers are for, I bet. You'll have to take them."

Sango's grin widened, and she spoke up, so everyone could hear. "Ready?"

"Let's do this!" Kagome suddenly yelled, and Sango broke towards the cluster of male slaves, hiraikotsu clenched in hand and ready for use, while Kagome headed straight for the succubus herself.

Jaw on the ground, Inuyasha stared at those insanely... tight... fitted... "_What the fuck is she wearing_?" he screamed at Sango, his efforts to escape the magic suddenly redoubling.

"Why don't you worry less about that, and pay more attention to what she's _doing_, baka!" Sango shouted back. Miroku didn't make a sound, his eyes plastered to the very finely shaped female that was now staring down the demoness that had captured them with determined, dangerous eyes.

"I think you need to go find some other guys to pick on, lady – these boys are already taken," she said. "But leave that shikon shard here on your way out."

The demoness just stared at her for a moment, taken aback on several fronts. First, she hadn't been aware that the females were even there, and second, just how did that little human wench know she had a shard of the shikon jewel, anyway?

"And why would I listen to anything a weak little human tells me to do?" she asked arrogantly, not even worried that her slaves couldn't help her, completely assured that she was in no danger from the human girl.

Kagome didn't even bother to answer, simply flinging herself onto the female, and the battle was joined.

Shocked speechless, Inuyasha froze as he watched Kagome handle herself like a warrior, dancing in and out of the fight with the succubus like she'd been doing it all her life. _What the hell...? Did I hit my head or something? When did the wench learn to fight?_

The succubus was surprised when the female proved to be much more of an opponent than she'd expected, and stepped up her efforts, trying her best to fend Kagome off. She kicked out, and Kagome dropped into a crouch to avoid the blow, then leaped back up, drawing her knife out of her sheath in the same move as she landed behind the demoness, who spun to face her again.

Her opponent laughed at the knife in her hand. "And what are you going to do with that knife, _little_ girl?" she taunted.

"Why don't you come at me and find out?" she challenged, and the demoness glared at her.

Without another word, she attacked again, but at the same time, called for one of her slaves, who broke away from Sango and attempted to throw himself at Kagome. Sango swooped in on Kirara, who'd already picked her mistress up, and took the slave out with a sharp toss of hiraikotsu.

Kagome shouted her thanks to Sango, but kept her attention on the now furious demoness, while both men's eyes were firmly plastered to Kagome. After all, they'd already seen Sango fight many times, but Kagome...?

When the succubus saw her slave destroyed, she panicked and changed course, going after the still-immobilized Inuyasha, grabbing him to use as a shield to keep Kagome away from her.

Eyes narrowing, Kagome palmed her knife and hefted it a couple of times, preparing herself. "That's pathetic – you're nothing but a hot air bag, spouting a bunch of bull! Scared of a little human girl, right?"

The enraged female yanked the hanyou back against her, who was still so busy staring at Kagome he barely even acknowledged the hold he was in. He just couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him.

"Keh... this must be an illusion or something," he muttered.

Kagome shot him an annoyed glance, and then looked back at the demoness. Eyeing her carefully, she waited for her to shift her position just enough – and then yelled, "Osuwari!" The instant that the beads pulled Inuyasha down out of the female's arms, she flamed her knife with spiritual power, and threw it full-force at the succubus.

It hit her in the chest with a spectacular thud, and Kagome watched the demoness turn to dust as the shard fell to the ground, completely purified, Miroku falling over to join Inuyasha in the dirt as the spell holding them dissolved.

Kagome walked over to pick up her knife and the shard, dusting both off before sheathing the knife and putting the shard away, then looked over at her friend, who'd just landed Kirara with a wide grin on her face.

"You did really well, Kagome! And I see you've been practicing something you didn't tell me about, too. I never even thought of the potential to infuse the knife with reiki. That was awesome!"

Face glowing with pleasure, Kagome grinned back at her friend. "That felt awful good, you know that? Being able to fight in close quarters like that, I mean. And I didn't have to use one arrow! I can't ever thank you enough, Sango. Plus, this slayer armor is really comfortable!"

Inuyasha, in the meantime, was spluttering from his spot on the ground, obviously unable to figure out what to say first, but finally, as Kagome bent over again to wipe some dust from her leg, he leapt to his feet and screamed, "Wench! What the fuck are you wearing!" like a banshee, completely unable to tear his eyes off that tight, black, fitted... curve-hugging... _leather._..

"_Fuck_!" he whimpered vehemently. _Oh hell, yeah... fuck is the right word for this... this... _Dazed, his eyes went to her tight ass as she stood once more, and he whimpered again – until he caught sight of Miroku's glazed expression and wide grin as he took in the same sight that Inuyasha himself was so enjoying.

Then all hell broke loose.

"Dammit, wench! Put some friggin' clothes on!" he shouted, shoving a threatening fist under Miroku's nose. The lecher was so busy staring, however, that he didn't even notice.

"Ah, Kagome-sama, a finer sight than you and Mistress Sango I have never seen!" Stumbling to his feet, he pushed a stunned Inuyasha over without even looking at him, and slithered over towards the now leery women, grabbing Kagome's hands in his. "I would not ask you to bare my child, Kagome-sama, for to be sure, nothing that would change this divine shape the kami gifted you with would please me. But if you wouldn't mind helping me _practice_ making children...?" he asked pleadingly.

In a flash, a growling hanyou was standing in front of a wide-eyed and blushing miko with her kimono held out towards her. "Get dressed, bitch! And don't let me ever see you in that, that... that _thing_ again!" He thought about that for a few seconds, and then qualified that demand. "Well, okay, I won't mind if you let _me_ see you in that... that! again - but no one else!"

And then as a shocked Kagome slipped the kimono back on, the irate inu turned on the suddenly disappointed monk, and grabbed him by an ear, before dragging him out of the camp. "Let's go, you fuckin' pervert – it's time for your beating. I warned you before about that flirting crap with Kagome! She's off-limits!"

Sango and Kagome exchanged disbelieving looks as the two males disappeared into the distance, the monk still staring woefully back at the women, and shook their heads. "You know," Sango said, "Inuyasha didn't even pay any attention to your fighting, really – he couldn't get past the slayer's armor." She winked and poked her elbow into a still flushing Kagome's side.

"And did you hear his comment? About seeing you in that again? I don't think he really realized what he was saying out loud, but I'd say he was having some pretty lecherous thoughts himself about you and that leather armor," she sing-songed.

Kagome dissolved into giggles at that. "Yeah, he did seem pretty fixated on my outfit. He couldn't even bring himself to say armor, or uniform, or anything else – he just kept stumbling over 'that'!" She broke off at the sound of a rather large explosion, and both women turned to look in that direction, just as a hysterically laughing Shippo came running into camp, followed by a monk who looked like he'd been mauled by a rather large, man-eating animal.

"Shippo, what...? Where's Inuyasha?" Kagome asked.

"Did you hear that loud explosion?" Sango and Kagome both nodded. "That was the sound of Inuyasha blowing up. He's in so many little pieces right now that it'll probably take him a few hours to pull himself back together." Snickering, he glanced over at a cowering Miroku. "Wouldn't want to be in your shoes when he does, though, pervert. What did you say to him to get that reaction out of him, anyway?"

Miroku flinched, not at all willing to say it again – especially with Sango standing there patting hiraikotsu. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah... never mind, Shippo. That's between Inuyasha and I."

Noting the taijiya take a menacing step forward, he blurted, "Or I could tell you what I said, too! I may have mentioned a few things he could do with all that sweet... leather-clad... succulent... flesh..." he trailed off into silence as his eyes glazed over again, and Sango finally beaned him, knocking him out cold – at least for a few moments.

"Pervert," she said disgustedly. "He'll never change." She sighed and looked at a rather irritated miko sadly. "I'm sorry, Kagome – neither one of those baka even noticed your fighting skills. They couldn't see past their own libidos."

And suddenly, Kagome giggled again, which soon degenerated into laughter of epic proportions. "Yeah... but did you see their faces when they saw us? When we both reached up and dropped our kimono, I thought they were both going to keel over of heart attacks! And it wasn't just them – that youkai's servants were staring, too!" She flicked her dark hair over her shoulders with a saucy look. "All eyes were on us, Sango – and darned if it didn't feel good, no matter _what_ the reason they were looking."

Her chortles of glee were cut off mid-stream, however, as the last person she would ever have expected to see strolled right into their camp from the direction of the river. Stopping to eye her for a moment, he continued on his merry way, Ah-Uhn stumping along behind him carrying Jaken and Rin.

As he passed her, Sesshoumaru said, "Indeed, miko. It was certainly an... _interesting_ sight. This one looks forward to seeing you in battle again – especially if you continue to wear that most... _eye-catching_ clothing."

Everyone in camp stared after the normally unapproachable daiyoukai in shock as he went calmly on his way...

But none more so than Kagome herself.

_Did he just...? _

_He did!_

"You know... it's a good thing Inuyasha is still busy trying to put himself back together – if he'd heard that, he'd have blown up so bad there'd be nothing left but dust," Shippo said dryly.

Kagome turned with worried eyes to look at Sango. "Ya know... maybe this armor wasn't such a good idea – it seems to have the effect of turning even icebergs into perverts. I don't know how much of this kind of thing Inuyasha will be able to stand without going off the deep end."

With a rather mischievous grin, Miroku tapped his chin with a finger, and said, "Can you imagine Inuyasha's reaction if _Kouga_ saw you like that?"

Kagome whimpered.

The monk continued. "The combat lessons were a good idea, Sango, and of course, it's not necessary for me to state how much I _personally_ enjoy the armor on both of you... however, in Kagome's case, a jealous, homicidal half-demon is perhaps a bit steep of a price to pay for such bounty."

"Seriously," Kagome moaned, "I don't get what the big deal is. It's just some armor! Can't a girl wear something to keep herself safe without every male around going stupid?"

Miroku cast her a look of serious disbelief. "Kagome-sama, surely you are not that innocent! A beautiful woman, wearing skin-tight black leather-" Miroku's lips stretched in a lecherous grin, "-and kicking butt all over a battlefield. Any red-blooded male is going to pay _very_ close attention to that, I can guarantee you."

"_And that's why she ain't wearin' that shit ever again!_" came the irate shout, as a certain hanyou landed at the edge of the camp, practically foaming at the mouth.

"Oh, boy," Shippo said, rolling his eyes, "the rabid guard dog is back."

"Inuyasha, osuwari!" Kagome hollered. "You can't tell me what to wear! It's armor, and now that I can fight, I'm gonna wear it – so just deal!" Never mind her previous thoughts of losing the armor to keep Inuyasha calm – now he'd pissed her off.

Inuyasha pried his face out of the dirt, and with a deadly scowl, shouted, "Hell, no! The only way you're gonna wear that... that tight! _armor_ is if you get good enough at fightin' that you can fight an entire _army_ of guys off! No, you know what? _ It ain't gonna happen even then_!"

He stood up the moment the spell freed him, and advanced on Kagome threateningly. "If you don't go take that shit off right now, Kagome, I'll peel you out of it myself." Then a smirk crossed his face as he thought about that, and he grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder. "As a matter of fact, I think I'll do just that."

In an instant, the two were gone from camp, and Shippo and Miroku were staring after them with jaws scraping the ground. But the silence from Sango eventually got through, and they both turned mystified looks on her, wondering why she wasn't reacting to that major bit of lechery.

When they saw the wicked grin on her face, hackles rose – even on Kirara.

"Uh, Sango... what is that look for?"

Sango's grin widened and Miroku shrank back nervously. "Oh... Inuyasha's about to get a taste of the _rest_ of what I taught Kagome."

"I'm probably going to regret asking... but what else did you teach her?" Miroku asked.

She laughed dangerously, eyeing the monk meaningfully. "How to deal with perverts."

Miroku flinched, then gulped.

"Ah."

-oOo-

Half an hour later, a triumphant Kagome sauntered into camp with a - temporarily - subdued Inuyasha trailing along behind her like a good little puppy. When he got to Sango, he looked at an obviously waiting Kagome, and then back at Sango.

With a sour expression on his face, he grumbled, "You taught her to fight good, Sango. And the armor-" he choked out, "-was a good idea, too."

Then he shot Kagome a belligerent look.

"But if any guys start getting any ideas, I'm gonna kill them – starting with the monk!" he said, shaking a warning fist at Miroku, who thought it prudent to keep his eyes, and his mouth, to himself at that point in time.

Kagome just sighed. "Whatever. _You_ certainly liked it."

"Of course I _liked_ it, wench – but ain't no one _else_ supposed to be _liking it_!" he shouted, temper once again heating.

"Too bad, Inuyasha. If I need to fight, I'm gonna wear it! It's better protection than my regular clothes, isn't it?"

She scowled at the sudden shifty look on his face, and wondered what was running through his mind.

"So, it's all about protection, Kagome?" he asked, and she nodded slowly, suspicious at his change in demeanor.

"Keh! I can take care of that, then."

And that was how, a week later, Kagome found herself faced with rather familiar clothing in fire-rat red being presented to her. Shaking them out, she realized that the outfit was identical to the hanyou's own, only in her size.

"Inuyasha, what is this?" she asked, eyeing him narrowly.

"It's armor – better armor than that slayer stuff you got – and it covers you up better, too!" he answered, openly pleased with himself. "Now _you_ can fight – and _I_ won't have to kill every male around for looking at you!"

Kagome stared at him for several long, silent moments, and then her head dropped into her hands.

"I should never have asked for fighting lessons," she mumbled despairingly. "If I hadn't, I'd still be sane."

No one said a single word.

-oOo-

A/N: Man, talk about the one-shot that wouldn't cooperate! And because of that, it now becomes my first story for the New Year, lol. Hope everyone gets a laugh out of it!

Amber


End file.
